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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen,
by Chris Rock

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen,
she's twelve.
If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six,
she's damn near fourty.
- Chris Rock

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
- Chris Rock

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul
judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
- Chris Rock

 

School shootings were invented by blacks...
and stolen by the white man.
- Chris Rock

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
- Chris Rock

Gun control? We need bullet control!
I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars.
Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar,
we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
- Chris Rock

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Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with.
C.B.
is such a loser.
He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
- Chris Rock

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did.
That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse.
But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
- Chris Rock

George Bush hates midgets.
- Chris Rock

Yeah, I love being famous.
It's almost like being white, y'know?
- Chris Rock

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
- Chris Rock

I'm in show business...
I want to hang out with Janet Jackson,
not Jesse Jackson.
- Chris Rock

Everyone has favorite criminals.
Mine are pimps.
We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs.
Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
- Chris Rock

A man is only as faithful as his options.
- Chris Rock

Black people dominate sports in the United States.
20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
- Chris Rock

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser.
I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
- Chris Rock

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people
go to and the one white people used to go to.
- Chris Rock

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
- Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
- Chris Rock

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man never knows how to say goodbye;
a woman never knows when to say it.
- Helen Rowland

Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley

A father is always making his baby into a little woman.
And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
- Enid Bagnold

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take
the first pill that comes along.
- Joyce Brothers

A woman has to be intelligent, have charm,
a sense of humor, and be kind.
It's the same qualities I require from a man.
- Catherine Deneuve

A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is
glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears.
- Anne Roiphe

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

A woman must combine the role of mother,
wife and politician.
- Emma Bonino

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads
when he thinks of marrying;
it's separating himself from all the others.
- Helen Rowland

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

A woman should be home with the children,
building that home and making sure there's a secure family atmosphere.
- Mel Gibson

A family can develop only with a loving woman as its center.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.
- Tammy Wynette

When virtue and modesty enlighten her charms,
the lustre of a beautiful woman is brighter than the stars of heaven,
and the influence of her power it is in vain to resist.
- Akhenaton

I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting
on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother:
the alternatives are all too expensive.
- Ann Oakley

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard

There is a woman at the begining of all great things.
- Alphonse de Lamartine

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
- William Congreve

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you;
she is after your barn.
- Hesiod

A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
- George Meredith

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

What motivated me? My mother.
My mother was an immigrant woman, a peasant woman,
struggled all her life, worked in the garment center.
- Al Lewis

A married woman has the same right to control her own
body as does an unmarried woman.
- Sol Wachtler

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things
that made life to me glorious -
friendship and learning.
- Jane Harrison

A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
- Christopher Morley

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf

Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic.
- Rosalind Russell

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices
unless she hasn't done it.
- Evan Esar

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him.
Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
- Harold MacMillan

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
- Ambrose Bierce

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own.
- Clare Boothe Luce

I don't think you should feel about a film.
You should feel about a woman, not a movie.
You can't kiss a movie.
- Jean-Luc Godard

I design for the woman who loves being a woman.
- Diane von Furstenberg

I don't need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman.
- Courtney Love

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

The woman is uniformly sacrificed to the wife and mother.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose
as a friend if he were a woman.
- Joseph Joubert

A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man.
An intelligent woman gives up.
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

I met an American woman and got married so I had to get a job.
- Walter Wager


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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