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When I eventually met Mr. Right
by Rita Rudner

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Related topics: Funny Cynical Marriage

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

 

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

The obscure we see eventually.
The completely obvious,
it seems, takes longer.
- Edward R. Murrow

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

Cheer for endings - whether goals have been met or not -
whether the ending is tidy or ragged.
Without endings, there would be neither the opportunity
nor the incentive to think new thoughts,
and to begin great new projects.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you.
If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you.
If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you.
But I did, I do, and I will.
- Anonymous

Just as in the comedies, a person who is in love
with the idea of love sees prospective partners
through the lens of idealism.
The reaction is, "This must be the one.
They are so perfect - the match of my dreams."
Is that person they just met a perfect match?
It's unlikely their friends think so.
So what happened? That person with the cute smile
was not much more than a mirror for the hopes and dreams
of the one in love with love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have never met an aggressive person
who wasn't a fearful person.
- John Bradshaw

Having seen the devastation of war first hand,
Eisenhower came both to despise war
and to see that "war settles nothing."
On the other hand, Ike was certainly no peacenik.
He understood that, in an emergency,
action must be met with reaction.
When truly necessary, violence met with violence -
but never hate responded to with hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

If it's Right, stand up for it - together.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Would you rather be right or happy?
- A Course in Miracles

It's not the situation that's causing your stress,
it's your thoughts,
and you can change that right here and now.
You can choose to be peaceful right here and now.
Peace is a choice,
and it has nothing to do with
what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is better to displease the people
by doing what you know is right.
- William J. H. Boetcker

On life's journey, faith is nourishment,
virtuous deeds are a shelter,
wisdom is the light by day
and right mindfulness is the protection by night.
If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.
- The Buddha

Do what you feel in your heart to be right.
You'll be criticized anyway.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden

To have a right to do a thing
is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Let reason trump tradition and the opinions of others,
but let your own sense of what is Right trump even reason.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.
- Helen Keller

Whether you think you can,
or think you can't,
you're right.
- Henry Ford

Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
- Peter T. Mcintyre

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

The right to do something doesn't mean that doing it is right.
- William Safire

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

We all have a social mask, right?
We put it on, we go out, put our
best foot forward, our best image.
But behind that social mask is a personal truth,
what we really, really believe
about who we are and what we're capable of.
- Phil McGraw

When virtue is lost, benevolence appears,
when benevolence is lost right conduct appears,
when right conduct is lost, expedience appears.
Expediency is the mere shadow of right and truth;
it is the beginning of disorder.
- Lao Tzu

The beginning of wisdom is to
call things by their right names.
- Chinese proverb

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind.
The time is always right to do the right thing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Management is doing things right;
leadership is doing the right things.
- Peter F. Drucker

The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff

You only live once, and once is enough
if you play your cards right.
- the movie Interiors (1978)

It is a fine thing to be honest,
but it is also very important to be right.
- Winston Churchill

We can always choose to perceive things differently.
You can focus on what's wrong in your life,
or you can focus on what's right.
- Marianne Williamson

Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual,
you have an obligation to be one.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right,
than to be responsible and wrong.
- Winston Churchill

One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The right to be irresponsible is a right I hold dear.
- Bono

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right.
Men will believe what they see.
- Henry David Thoreau

There is no "right", there is no "wrong" -
there are only points of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All in the dark we grope along,
And if we go amiss
We learn at least which path is wrong,
And there is gain in this.
We do not always win the race
By only running right;
We have to tread the mountain's base
Before we reach its height.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson

The time is always right to do what is right.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on...
Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off.
Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off.
Don't forget to breathe, very important.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.
- Napoleon Hill

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes it is better to lose
and do the right thing
than to win and do the wrong thing.
- Tony Blair

Is freedom anything else than the right
to live as we wish? Nothing else.
- Epictetus

Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing.
You don't win once in a while,
you don't do things right once in a while,
you do them right all the time.
Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
- Vince Lombardi

The right mixture of caring and not caring -
I suppose that's what love is.
- James Hilton

We must use time wisely and forever realize
that the time is always ripe to do right.
- Nelson Mandela

There are no right answers to wrong questions.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

I am not interested in power for power's sake,
but I'm interested in power that is moral,
that is right and that is good.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

What is, is right.
- Alexander Pope


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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