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I hope you like these George Carlin quotes from my collection of quotes about life.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha 
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
If the mind wants to comprehend reality,
it will have to come out of the past and the future.
But coming out of the past and the future,
it is no longer the mind at all.
Hence the insistence of all the great masters of the world
that the door to reality is no-mind.
- Osho
The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France
Every thought we think is creating our future.
- Louise L. Hay
The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If only the people who worry about their liabilities
would think about the riches they do possess,
they would stop worrying.
- Dale Carnegie
We are shaped by our thoughts;
we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows
like a shadow that never leaves.
- The Buddha
The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie
Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
What you think of me is none of my business.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker
To change who you are,
change who you think you are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
You are what you think you are.
- Bob Richards
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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