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I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius
You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead
You are important. You are the star -
the only star - of your own life show.
Everyone else is a bit player in the great drama of your life.
Be of service to humanity, but never be anyone's doormat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You never really understand a person
until you consider things from his point of view.
- Harper Lee
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
If you love something, set it free;
if it comes back it's yours,
if it doesn't, it never was.
- Richard Bach
Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have,
you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
We can never obtain peace in the outer world
until we make peace with ourselves.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson
One never notices what has been done;
one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie
So your father, or your mother,
never thought you were good enough - SO WHAT?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
Never do things others can do and will do
if there are things others cannot do or will not do.
- Amelia Earhart
Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
- Henry David Thoreau
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A state of expectancy is a great asset;
a state of uncertainty -
one moment thinking "perhaps"
and the next moment thinking "I don't know" -
will never get desired results.
- Ernest Holmes
Never allow a person to tell you NO
who doesn't have the power to say YES.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)
It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
- Henry David Thoreau
How much pain they have cost us,
the evils which have never happened.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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