Facebook share Tweet This Email this
I hope you like these Groucho Marx quotes from my collection of quotes about life.
Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Please sign up for my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email using the form below.
Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
One can never speak enough of the virtues,
the dangers, the power of shared laughter.
- Francoise Sagan
A willingness to laugh at itself is what distinguishes
a compassionate religion from a cult.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Few people know how to take a walk.
The qualifications are endurance,
plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature,
good humor, vast curiosity, good speech,
good silence and nothing too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor
makes you more human, more humble.
The sense of humor - according to me -
is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.
- Osho
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
- Alexander Pope
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Thank you for visiting: Groucho Marx Quotes and Sayings - Quotes by Groucho Marx.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search or browse my large collection of Quotes about Life.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You may read about our disclaimer, our privacy policy, terms of use, participation in affiliate programs, and copyright policy.
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.