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Elayne Boosler Quotes and Sayings
Quotes by Elayne Boosler

I hope you like these Elayne Boosler quotes from my collection of quotes about life.

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

Related topics: Funny

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers.
Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
- Elayne Boosler

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced
so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
- Elayne Boosler

 

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
- Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking.
- Elayne Boosler

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
- Elayne Boosler

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by
giving money to television preachers?
- Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
- Elayne Boosler

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty
years because even in biblical times,
men would not stop to ask for directions.
- Elayne Boosler

You never see a man walking down the street with a
woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
- Elayne Boosler

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson PHOTO

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm
not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree
and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver.
Then they would really be educated.
- Al McGuire

My doctor gave me six months to live,
but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
- Walter Matthau

You have to wait six months to purchase a fuel efficient
automobile made from overseas.
- Ed Markey

There are six components of wellness:
proper weight and diet,
proper exercise, breaking the smoking habit,
control of alcohol, stress management and periodic exams.
- Kenneth H. Cooper

When a father, absent during the day,
returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament,
not his teaching.
- Robert Bly

Treat your password like your toothbrush.
Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
- Clifford Stoll

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers -
six if one went to Harvard.
- Edgar R. Fiedler

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore,"
shoot six,
and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

When a man goes through six years training to be a
doctor he will never be the same.
He knows too much.
- Enid Bagnold

Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie

I feel very proud that we have managed to stay together.
In these forty years we have made forty-six films.
Each one has brought a certain name and contribution to cinema.
- Ismail Merchant

Over the last six years, airlines have experienced
severe financial pressure to leave smaller communities,
making demands on the EAS program even greater.
- Nick Rahall

I never used to drink water.
I am drinking six liters of water every day now.
That's the key.
- Warren Cuccurullo

After wrestling with myself for six months,
I began medical treatment.
During that time I started a band with some friends
of mine called Jack's Car,
but that didn't last.
- Jack Irons

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us.
Teachers have thousands of people who remember them
for the rest of their lives.
- Andy Rooney

The little things that made up the fabric of the first
six years of my life were suddenly ripped away,
and I didn't have anyone around me who loved me.
Not one single person.
- Julie Christie

And I'm a slow writer: five, six hundred words is a good day.
That's the reason it took me 20 years to write those
million and a half words of the Civil War.
- Shelby Foote

I never had a chance to play with dolls like other kids.
I started working when I was six years old.
- Billie Holiday

They took my mother's stomach out six months ago.
- Dave Eggers

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law.
My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No,
six should be enough.'
- Les Dawson

I did Lassie for six years and I never had anybody come up to me and say,
'It made me want to be a farmer.'
- June Lockhart

It was weird because I'd only been in L.A.
for about six months and I had my first feature.
- Matthew McGrory

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook.
At seven I wanted to be Napoleon.
And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.
- Salvador Dali

From the moment I was six I felt sexy.
And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell,
waiting to do something about it.
- Bette Davis

The biggest share of U.S.
exports to the six CAFTA nations is not the traditional job-creation kind.
These are products that are not consumed in the purchasing nations.
- Stephen F. Lynch

For a London play, rehearsal time would be four weeks for the entire show.
In films, I'd spend six weeks on the big dance numbers
to get them perfect before the actual shooting.
- Jessie Matthews

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure
that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men
whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
- Fred Allen

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as
much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as
it does out of finding a small green worm.
- Bill Vaughan

Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men,
and I will find an excuse in them to hang him.
- Cardinal Richelieu

Earth was not built for six billion people all running
around and being passionate about things.
The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs.
- Doug Coupland

A manager uses a relief pitcher like a six shooter,
he fires until it's empty then takes the gun and throws it at the villain.
- Dan Quisenberry

Right now we have a closure rate between discovery
and exploitation of four to six months.
We need to be more in the realm of seven to 10 days.
That is an enormous challenge.
- John W. Thompson

You know, I come from six generations of college graduates.
- Julian Bond

I started when I was six years old.
My first coach was my granny, she was the best player in Slovakia.
- Daniela Hantuchova

I know all about cheating.
I've had six very successful marriages.
- Bobby Heenan

I want to give my six hours of serious cricket on the
ground and then take whatever the result.
- Sachin Tendulkar

If you could have a book called My Favorite Six Stories,
I don't think I'd have trouble doing that.
- Ann Beattie

The Six Million Dollar Man was one thing,
but I wanted to keep my own parts.
- Lee Majors

There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes
after working 14 hours a day,
six days a week.
I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress.
- Tom Berenger

We inherit plots.
There are only two or three in the world,
five or six at most.
We ride them like treadmills.
- Janette Turner Hospital

As full lines of battle could not be handled through the thick wood,
I ordered the advance of the six brigades by heavy skirmish lines,
to be followed by stronger supporting lines.
- James Longstreet

Eighty-six percent of the gun death of children under
the age of 14 internationally is right here in the
United States of America.
It is madness.
- Nita Lowey

If I could create one job in the private sector by
helping to grow a business,
that would be one more than Congress has created in the last six months.
- Evan Bayh

With regard to my family as I said nothing upon the
subject before I may tell you that I have six children living,
1 dead and before I have the pleasure of seeing you I expect another.
- John Hawley

If you give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest of men,
I will find something in them which will hang him.
- Cardinal Richelieu

I WAS born a slave; but I never knew it till six years
of happy childhood had passed away.
- Harriet Ann Jacobs

My problem with new writers is that it takes me five
or six years to memorise the right names.
- Larry Niven

If I can't affect some change in six years,
maybe I'm in the wrong place.
- George Nethercutt

Because I stopped dieting already six months ago,
and I think it's important to bring out a book like
this and you are there a year later and say look,
I'm still like this.
- Karl Lagerfeld

My fan mail is enormous.
Everyone is under six.
- Alexander Calder

It is a great shock at the age of five or six to find
that in a world of Gary Coopers you are the Indian.
- James Baldwin

Even though it was six o'clock, there was no sense of approaching dawn.
- Mary Higgins Clark


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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